“Sometimes at night in bed I dream, dream of all my life could be and all I could do. I think about my future and the possibilities that lay before me. There is always a moment in this thought. A moment where I realize that in order to do it all, in order to really live and not merely exist, I cannot go on living the way I have done. I must fight it with all my strength.”

Epic tiredness

I’m tired… So tired of life right now. I just want to put everything on pause, give myself time to think and rest. I can’t hold this up for too long. Its come to a point I’m just so tired of everyone.

I thought of throwing it into the ocean. But the ocean seemed too full. Like it was begging me not to throw another memory into its morose waves. Like it was tired of taking what people couldn’t hold. Tired of pulling its tides in and out every morning and evening, with the weight of 1000 burdens we’d sunk into it. I couldn’t force it to take what I wanted to forget so i kept it with me. I still have it. On a shelf. Waiting to fall out of a window.

These insecurities and feelings of helplessness is taking over my life.

“So many people are shut up tight inside themselves like boxes, yet they would open up, unfolding quite wonderfully, if only you were interested in them.”
— Sylvia Plath

Christ is risen

1 Peter 1:3  ― "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead."

Happy Resurrection Day! 

Everybody has their own cup. The amount of mater in each should be equal, fair. But some cups are almost full, some are almost empty, and eveyone thinks they deserve more water than they have, especially the ones with their cups more than half full.

End-of-Year Epiphany

I remember now what matters to me and what doesn’t, what I care about and what others care about, what the meaning of life used to be - although I don’t remember when it stopped being that. Several hundred details cascading like rainfall. Merry Christmas and happy new year everyone. I hope your holidays are filled with joy, love and fun (and food).

Much love xxx

source: tumblr

Just beautiful. This is from Chopin’s Mazurka in F minor, Opp. 68, No. 4, his final composition according to several sources and first published in an incomplete form in 1855.